Yummy Life

Manufacturers rely on pretty packages to sell their products.  Think about what you end up doing with that pretty package once you eat what is inside:  throw it away or recycle it.  Chances are that you have paid for many, many packages over the course of your life and you could have saved thousands of dollars if you had bought the “uglier” product.  Perhaps you aren’t aware of the uglies.  They exist!  You may have to search for them a bit, but you can find them and you can save a ton of money.  Some products that come “ugly”:

Oatmeal

Quinoa

Rice

Nuts

Beans

Lentils

Coconut

Flour

I buy a lot of products in bulk from a local health food store.  Many things at this store are more expensive than at other stores, but this store sells many items in bulk, that are packaged in a clear plastic bag with a label slapped on it, that are much cheaper than their counterparts in pretty packages.  They are organic products, such as organically grown oats and garbanzo beans for hummus.  I can buy a lot more product for a lot less money.  A large back of quinoa costs about $3.0o when purchased in the ugly package and is $2-$3 more expensive for a smaller, more “decorated” package.  It is the same product.  I can get several meals out of the larger bag of quinoa, where the smaller one may last about 2 meals.  This is a no brainer!

Also, take note that most junk food comes in attractive packaging.  So many people think that foods that are bad for you are less expensive.  Sometimes, maybe, but think of what you are ACTUALLY paying for.  Take for instance sugared cereals.  They come in bright colored packages, in a box that looks like it’s a decent size.  This box of cereal is around $4.20.  You open up the box, and there is a bag inside.  There is a lot of room in this box.  You are paying mostly for air and the pretty box. When you buy oatmeal in bulk, you are buying oats.  When you buy fresh fruit, you are buying fruit.

What would you rather pay for?

I hear a lot of excuses for not eating healthier.  Having a crazy, hectic schedule comes in a close second, but the number one excuse that I hear for not eating a healthier diet is “Healthy food is too expensive”.

Over the next few posts, I am going to explore how to live healthy on a budget.  I am even going to host a complimentary teleseminar on how to eat healthy on a budget.  I have been living on a shoestring budget for a long time and I have picked up many tips and tricks along the way.  I have also made some realizations about the food that is available in grocery stores.  Of course, there are always trade offs, so in order to eat a bit healthier you may have to spend more time making lists, going to different stores, and reading labels.  It can be done – plus, the money you will spend on healthier food is nothing compared to the money you will shell out if you become sick and decrepit.  And have you ever stopped to ponder the question “what am I really paying for?” when you consider buying packaged, processed foods?

I know you are anxious to hear some ways that you can save some money on healthy foods, so I have a tip to share with you today. STOP WASTING FOOD! If you’ve ever bought a bunch of fruit and vegetables and watched them rot in your refrigerator, you know what I’m talking about.  This is literally money thrown in the garbage.  Try shopping like a European – buy just enough for a day or two and do not buy more until you eat what you have.  Don’t buy something just because it’s good for you.  If you do not like something, you won’t eat it, and your money will be wasted.  If you want to enjoy your healthy life, the way to do that is not choking down foods that you think are nasty.  You may also consider buying frozen fruit and vegetables if you find yourself wasting a little too much.

If your food is starting to turn a bit and is no long aesthetically pleasing but still edible, throw it in a soup or smoothie.  The food gets used, and your money does not go to waste!

Tomorrow’s Tip:  Don’t pay for packaging!

Eat up!

It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from college with all of these hopeful dreams that I would someday have a great career, a wonderful family and many, many people would know my name.  Thirteen years later I look back and all I can ask myself is “Where did the time go?”  It seems like since I have been “grown up” time has really started to fly by.  I can remember being young and stuck inside on a rainy day with nothing to do.  Time passed so SLOWLY.  Now, even on rainy, boring days, the time passes much too quickly.

Yes, I have gotten older.  I do all of the things that “adults” do.  But there is still a little girl inside me that longs to have fun and be free.  She throws fits when she doesn’t get her way.  She is happy with the simple things in life and doesn’t think too much about the future.  She is shoved into the background most every day because, darn it, life gets in the way.  My adult life.  The one I am always not so happy with.  The one that has been difficult, heartbreaking, roller-coaster like, and yes, sometimes disappointing.  I hate looking back on my life and seeing the huge gap of where I thought I “should” be and where I stand today.  I do believe that everything in life has a purpose; everything happens for a reason.  I regret doing a lot of things, but most of all I regret the things that I did not do.  The things I did not do because I was afraid.  Or too shy to do.  Or too damn lazy.  Because time has gone by really quickly and it serves as a constant reminder that  we do not live forever, and once time has passed we cannot get it back.  I regret living much of my life in an apathetic state, not caring enough about myself or what happened to me to take action and make a better life.

I don’t know how much longer I will be on this earth.  I would like to stop living my life in fear and do things even though they scare me.  I no longer wish to wander through the forest of my life feeling numb to the pricks of the thorns that symbolize excitement, change and love.  I want to really FEEL what is going on, even if it is not all that pleasant.  I’ve always felt that one day my words would tell a fantastic story yet how can I tell this story if I go through life experiencing nothing?  I want to be raw; exposed.  I want to be wounded so that I can heal and be proud of the scar that is left behind.  I want to inspire others to inspire others not to WASTE their lives away.

Life does not always deal us a fair hand.  But today I am choosing to harbor no ill will toward others who appear to be more “blessed” than I am.  Despite all of the bad times, teardrops shed, heartbreaking disappointment and longing for something “more” there have been some high points along the way as well.  We control the future so much more than we realize.  We can change the way we think about our lives, even if we can’t control what happens in them all of the time.

I think tomorrow is going to be a fun, productive and joy-filled day.  One day at a time – one affirmation at a time.  I can’t believe that I am grown up already!  But that doesn’t mean that I always have to think like a grown up.  The little girl inside me can live on and not think too much about the future and things that she cannot control.  She can be happy that she is alive and that she has everything she needs for this single moment.  And she can be excited about the small stuff like Cool Whip on warm apples and a vacation to Walt Disney World.

The only thing we can be sure of is that time is going to pass much too quickly.  Are you making the most of today?  How are you planning on spending tomorrow?

I hear a lot of people say “when I lose weight” or “after I am skinny”.  They say this in relation to things they will do, or how they will feel (especially when it comes to feeling beautiful or being happy).  Do you know how many people say that over and over again and yet they never get to the point where they are “skinny”?  Have you ever thought that the two may be related?

You bet they are related.  If you do not love and respect yourself, you will not treat yourself the way you need to be treated.  You will not feel that you deserve to be healthy or beautiful.  You will continue to stand in your own way; you will sabotage your own efforts.  You will not believe that you can change.  You will not be able to see a better future for yourself or visualize yourself as a healthy, happy woman.  Have you ever received a compliment and then went out and eaten a half gallon of ice cream?  Have you ever wondered WHY you do that?

The worst thing about this is that it is a vicious cycle.  You do not feel beautiful, confident or happy and you feel you need to do something about it.  But because you do not like yourself very much you have a hard time getting the motivation to make positive changes.  Or if you do, you sabotage yourself.  Then, because you “failed”, you hate yourself even more.  Wouldn’t a more logical first step be to learn to love and respect yourself just a little bit more?

I know, it’s easier said than done.  I have been there.  I have been to the very bottom of the pit of self-despair.  I truly believe that I hated myself. And because I despised nearly everything about myself, I found that everything that I did was done in order to make myself feel better about who I was.  I put off doing things, including things that would have made a positive impact on my health and happiness, because I “needed to lose weight”.  Who says only “skinny” people should wear lingerie or go skinny dipping? Or go hiking in the woods on a hot day?  Or get a much needed makeover?  And who the hell says that you don’t deserve love and respect just because you carry some extra weight?

You do not need to wait to be “beautiful”.  You ARE beautiful.  If you need to work a little to make yourself feel better, DO IT.  You deserve it – pamper yourself a little!  If a haircut and a little make up or a new outfit lift your spirits, then treat yourself.  And remember how you feel afterward.  This is the feeling that will carry you forward, that will propel you in a positive direction.  You need to eat healthy and incorporate activity into your schedule because you DESERVE it.

If you do not love or respect yourself as much as you should, and it is standing in the way of your health and happiness, I challenge you to do something about it.  You need to believe that you do great things, that you can change your life in a big way.  You need to be honest with yourself about where you stand today so you know in which direction you should venture.  You need to take action NOW rather than later.  And it always helps to have some support along the way.

I want to invite you to a FREE information call about RESOLVE:  4 Weeks to a Healthier You!  I’ll be giving you some tips on how you can ease into a healthier lifestyle by not only taking some positive action steps and making realistic goals but by changing your mindset.  Learning to change the way you think about yourself is the most powerful tool to getting a leaner, healthier body.

RESOLVE – 4 Weeks to a Healthier You!

FREE INFORMATION CALL

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

9 pm EST

REGISTER FOR THE CALL

It’s time to be beautiful.  Not “when you lose weight” or “1 year from now” or whenever you expect to reach your goals.  The time is now.  You are beautiful and strong and you know what you want – what you DESERVE.  It doesn’t matter how long you have looked the way you do now or what health problems you may be experiencing.  If you put off being beautiful, you put off living your life.  You are wasting precious moments that you will never get back.

There will be some time-sensitive information shared on the call – you don’t want to miss it!  If you can’t make the call, don’t worry – the call will be recorded and you will still be able to take advantage of the special bonuses shared on the call.

I look forward to seeing you on the call!

Holly

Well, I have set some pretty intense goals for myself, knowing that I was bound to falter sooner or later.  I want to be a She-Woman, but the truth is that I am an overweight 35 year old woman with chronic pain issues.  I have hopes that being more athletic will help my chronic pain but I know myself enough to realize that this will not be a pain-free battle.  I expect the “normal” type of pain, like sore muscles and the burn you feel when you are pushing yourself to your physical limits.  What I forget about is my “normal” pain. I have to spend a lot of time and money in order to keep myself relatively pain free.  I tell people I get a weekly massage and they are like “lucky you” or “wow, aren’t you a princess?”  Um, no.  Not lucky me.  Lucky me needs to carve out that hour and a half (w/travel time) that it takes to get a massage every week.  I need to find a babysitter for that time or sometimes I just can’t and my pain is so bad that I just need to bring her with me.  Luckily, I have known my massage therapist for a long time and my child is actually pretty well-behaved during this time.  I think she has sympathy for my pain, actually.  She will often ask me “Mama, does your back hurts?” if I groan or make a face.  She sees me ice my back, she comes with me to the chiropractor, she sees me do my back exercises.  I do not want her to feel sorry for me.  I want her to see my triumph over my pain and see me living a healthy life in spite of these small setbacks.

What really sucks is that when the pain comes on this bad, it takes like 2 weeks to recover from it.  My back was pinched and seized but so bad that I couldn’t lift my left leg!  It hurt so bad I couldn’t sleep, so working out during the day was hard because I was so tired.  But I did continue to strength train and stretch during the week, and did some walking and a couple of videos that weren’t too intense.  Sometimes jumping and high impact exercises hurt my back.  So I am faced with having to work within my limits.  I know that my back gets inflamed, and that PCOS involves some inflammatory reactions as well.  So I have decided to adopt an anti-inflammatory diet (I eat this way most of the time but I think I am eating too much meat right now) along with slightly modifying my exercise goals.  It’s for the best.  I will be a She-Woman, I’ll just go about it differently.

So, I have printed out a copy of Andrew Weil’s anti-inflammatory food pyramid and will adjust it to meet my daily calorie limits.  I will do my best to follow this every day.  I not only want to look better but I want to FEEL better.  Because feeling the way I have for the last two weeks is not FUN.  I feel like I am about to turn 80 instead of 35.

Second, I think I really  need to think about my physical limitations and what is best for me long-term.  I know that running burns a lot of calories and does help me lose weight but I do not think it really does my back any favors.  I’ve decided to work toward being able to WALK a half-marathon instead of running a 5K.  I will find a half-marathon in a fun place, sign up, download a training schedule, and start training.  I will aim to walk as fast as I can and will set a goal time for finishing on the day of the race.  It will all be good!

I will not let this pain sideline me.  I am going to continue my intensive strength training to strengthen my back muscles (along with every other muscle in my body).  As the lady on my video says “muscle burns fat!” – at this point I am choosing to trust her completely  and follow the workout schedule in my guide book along with adding some daily walking.

I am having trouble with the waking up early thing.  I hate waking up.  I hate mornings.  But I need to do it in order to have time to work out twice a day.  So starting tomorrow I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY MOST DEFINITELY will wake up at 6:30 tomorrow and take my dog for a walk.  A fast walk.  In the cold.  Brrrrrrrr.

I am looking forward to my RESOLVE coaching group beginning so that I will have lots of accountability partners to keep me on track.  There is definitely power in numbers.  This will be my most affordable weight release focused group ever.  And I’ll be telling you all about it tomorrow!  Woo hoo!

Off to my massage appointment now!  Don’t feel too jealous – no babysitter today – this should be a blast!

Until tomorrow….

I’m taking some time to publicly declare my personal goals for the year.  I’ve also gone through the trouble to take a look at goals I’ve made in years gone by.  So far, my track record is not great as far as actually reaching the goals that I’ve set for myself.  Why is that?  Sometimes the goals were unrealistic considering what was going on in my life at the time.  More often than not I just did not take the time to keep the goal in the front of my mind and to track my progress.  Instead it got tossed aside into the closet of Forgotten Dreams and ended up on the bottom of the junk pile. No one ever asks me about all of the forgotten dreams because I never told anyone about them!  I totally missed the opportunity gain valuable supporters who could have cheered me on and encouraged me when I felt like giving up.  Well, not this time.  I have friends, family, my online communities, my clients and my clients-to-be.  I believe in being totally authentic, in practicing what I preach.  I’ve been taking small steps to total wellness over the last couple of years.  This year, I am going to make a giant leap.

So, this year, the following things are on my agenda:

1.)  Reduce my waist size by 5-8 inches by July 1, 2010.

2.)  Run a 10K on May 8, 2010.

3.)  Maintain a PCOS-friendly fertility diet that includes 4-6 servings of vegetables per day plus supplements to decrease my PCOS symptoms and improve my overall fertility.

4.) Begin IVF process in April, 2010 – before my 35th birthday, and be healthy enough to do it.

5.) Be able to buy clothes in ANY store I choose by July 1, 2010.

Those are my ultimate goals for the year.  I’ve decided to break it up into smaller goals for each month, to make it easier to achieve the bigger ones.  So for this month, I am going to maintain a regular schedule each week that includes regular times for exercise, work, and relaxation.  I will get up each morning at 6 am in order to run before the day begins.  I will do this 6X per week and allow myself one day off.  I will go to bed at the same time each evening in order to promote better sleep.  I will engage in strength training 3-4 days per week in the afternoon.  I will eat 5 servings of vegetables per day and maintain a 1500 calorie per day diet and re-evaluate on February 1.  I will write down what I eat each day and journal about my experience.  My pants will be loose on February 1, 2010.

All of these goals are realistic.  I want to lose fat and be as healthy as I can be.  I want to work my way toward being “athletic”, something I have never been.  Life is busy and hectic, and I am sure that I will not do things 100% perfectly.  That’s OK.  I am setting both my personal and professional goals high.  Research shows that the higher you set your goals, the more you achieve.  So, screw being 1 size smaller, losing 10 lbs, and running a 5K!  Though I am keeping my personal and professional goals separate, they do intertwine.  I want to be more comfortable on camera when doing my own videos and for when I make television appearances, so that involves continuing to lose fat and gain muscle.  I want to experience fertility treatment along with my clients during my Fertile Attraction group, so I want to get healthy enough to have a running chance at IVF working.  Basically, the healthier I am, the more I will be able to give my business.  They are indeed connected.

So, if you have some things to accomplish this year, outline some clear, concise goals.  Make them a stretch for you but keep them realistic.  Make sure it is measurable – you  must be able to track your progress.  Take that first step by sharing your goals on this post – make them public!  Let’s do this together!  Please comment – let’s keep each other accountable!

For everything we do, or do not do, there is a cost.  Even when we are doing something positive.  There are many, many excuses that are given for not adopting a healthier lifestyle or for not committing wholeheartedly.  I have uttered many of them myself.  The thing that I have noticed is that I always end up in exactly the same place.  STARTING OVER.  New promises to myself, new declarations to others.

If you have some health issues, such as PCOS, that could greatly benefit from living healthier, eating better, and moving more, you likely are aware of the cost of putting these things off.  Perhaps your relationship is suffering because your poor body image is keeping you from being the sexy Goddess that you are.  Or maybe your social life is suffering.  Worst of all, perhaps this is costing you your fertility.  You may not understand why although you understand that the cost of NOT getting healthy is high, you do not commit to making changes in your lifestyle that could have a great and positive impact on your entire life’s outcome.  Is it because the cost of commitment is too high for you?

Yes, there is a cost to making healthy lifestyle changes.  Perhaps you have gotten used to paying the price for being overweight and in less than stellar shape.  Maybe it doesn’t seem so high to you anymore.  The price of getting healthy can definitely have a high price as well.  You may have to sever your relationship with certain foods.  You may have to alter your social life.  Your significant other will be impacted as well, and you may have to deal with a less than supportive partner.  You may have to avoid certain social activities if temptation proves to be too much for you to handle.  You will have to sacrifice hours of your week in order to exercise.  You may have to learn how to cook, or cook healthier.  You will likely spend more time on food preparation and shopping.  You will spend more time in learning how to balance all the elements of your life.  And worst of all, for most people, is that you will have to face your demons.  If you do not deal with the issues that have caused you hurt, pain, disappointment and frustration in the past, you will likely end up right where you are today.  You will have to put your armor on and rush in to battle the negative voices in your head.  You will need to capture the negative thoughts – take them prisoner – and rehabilitate them into positive affirmations that will help you reach your goals.  And no, this will not be easy.

Like me, you may have beat yourself up from time to time for not sticking to your healthy eating plan and letting exercise fall to the wayside.  You may be disgusted with yourself for letting things get out of hand and for not taking the bull by the horns sooner in order to get on track to a healthier life.  Time has indeed been wasted, but it’s not the end of the world.  You may just not have understood how much it would cost to make such a commitment.  Perhaps you did not have the emotional currency in order to pay the price and be in it for the long haul.  YOU HAVE IT IN YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE.  OR MANY OF THEM. The costs of getting healthy are steep, but the cost of NOT getting healthy is much higher.  It could cost you your health, your fertility, or even your LIFE.

Have you been putting off making lifestyle changes but aren’t really sure why?  Make a list of all of the costs of getting healthy.  Be totally honest.  Hold nothing back. Looking at this list will help you to understand what has been standing in your way.  Don’t even worry about the price of doing nothing.  You are well aware of the price of this.

I encourage people to really prepare for lifestyle changes.  Jumping in with your eyes closed will have you swimming for the exit before you know it.  Forever is a long time – take some time to prepare yourself.  There is a lot that you need to know about yourself in order to make the appropriate changes.  It really helps if you have some real support to help you along the way as well.

Beginning January 26th, I will be running a 4-week coaching program that will help you prepare for a lifetime of commitment to a healthy lifestyle.  The RESOLVE coaching group will ease you into making changes that will have a positive impact on your life.  You will have the support of your peers, your coach and an online group.  It’s impossible to do it alone and the great news is that you do not have to!  I’ll be sharing details throughout the week and will be starting Discovery sessions next week for those that are interested in participating.

I’m looking forward to sharing a fabulous 2010 with you!

The holidays can be a challenging time for many women with PCOS. It’s supposed to be a time of joy and celebration.  It’s a time to give thanks for all of our blessings. The focus is on family and giving gifts to the ones we love. But what if you don’t feel blessed? What if you have yet to receive the gift that you want most of all?

If you have been trying to conceive a child and it has not happened for you yet, you may be harboring feelings toward other people that have been blessed with a child.  You may try your best to avoid pregnant women.  The sight of happy families may make you sad or even angry. Have you ever thought that maybe you did not deserve to be a mother?  Or that it may not be in the stars for you to have a family? Have you ever said “I hate happy people”?  

If you have been thinking thoughts like these, you likely feel a bit ashamed for feeling this way and you may even be reluctant to share these thoughts with others for fear that they may think you are a horrible person. Wouldn’t it be great if your heart could be filled with feelings of joy instead of envy?  The good news is that with a little work, this is possible.  You may be blocking your own blessings without even knowing it. 

Unknowingly, you may be choking your own blessings with negative thoughts and hopelessness.  Negative thoughts are like aggressive weeds that take over the garden that is your mind. Their roots run deep and their leaves and stems crowd the room in the fertile soil that blessings and positive energy must have to grow and flourish.  Perhaps your garden is so overrun with these invaders that you can not even see the blessings that lay in front of you. They may be taking up so much of the space in your heart that it has become nearly impossible for you to feel joy for others when they receive good news. Maybe you envy or feel anger toward those who do not face the same kind of challenges you do.  Because blessings need positive energy to sprout and stake their claim in the garden, they may be dying before they even have the chance to make their impact on your life. 

In order to really allow positive energy to flow into your life, you need to pluck out the negative thoughts by the root so that they do not continue to spread.  They will continue to return, and you will need to continue to pluck them.  Like a garden, your mind needs to be tended and fertilized.  You must be diligent in keeping the weeds out of your beautiful garden.  It will take some time for you to become a master gardener, but there are a few things you can do right away to help put a stop to the invasive weeds.

1.)    Focus on the child that you are meant to have instead of trying to control the process.  Think about being a parent and loving a child and allow the universe to take care of the rest.  Have faith that it will happen.  When you stop trying to control the process and focus on the prize, you will be surprised at how your personality shifts.  You will begin to attract that child into your arms like a piece of metal to a magnet.  If you want to be a parent, you will be, but you must be open to the way in which this will happen.

2.)    Allow the baby vibes to “rub off” on you.  Instead of hiding from pregnant women in the grocery store, make eye contact and say hello.  Hold babies every chance you get.  Allow yourself to feel the joy that the new parents are feeling. Take care of yourself as if you were expecting.  Make room in your home and in your life for a new being. 

3.)    Create some good karma.  Volunteer for a charity that benefits children this holiday season.  Offer to babysit for a friend.  Comfort someone who is hurting.  Adopt a family and give them a holiday that they could not have without you. The compassion that you will feel is sure better than the feelings of envy and sadness that have been taking over your mind.

A new year is right around the corner. Make a list of everything that you can be grateful for this season.  You may not feel like celebrating right now, but by keeping positive and taking care of yourself, you are nourishing your garden.  Good things can’t help but sprout up in the near future.

The holidays can be rough for a lot of people.  Especially for people with health challenges and those who have faced trauma or loss. A friend of mine who is having a particularly hard time this year recently told me that she has nothing to be thankful for this year.  I replied, “Nothing?  Really?”  She has a wonderful husband who would do anything for her.  She has a beautiful and healthy daughter.  A job she likes.  Yes, she suffered a tragedy earlier in the year and Thanksgiving won’t be the same this year.  She admitted that she is jealous of all of the families that have grandmas and grandpas and even great grandmas and grandpas all together at Thanksgiving.  Life is not turning out to be the perfect life that she imagined it would be.  Feelings of “life’s not fair” keep popping up.

If you are trying to conceive and are having challenges, these feelings probably feel familiar to you.  I have silently suffered the news of friends and family members getting pregnant for years.  I’d say “congratulations” and then go home and cry.  News like that felt like a knife to the heart.  Why does everyone else I know just imagine sperm swimming up the love canal and get pregnant and I go years without being able to conceive?  It isn’t fair.  I really want to be pregnant, I really want another child.  I’ve even thought bad things about random pregnant women in the grocery store.  Now, is that really fair?  That woman with the bulging belly may have had to do IVF in order to get pregnant.  Or maybe she was barfing her brains out the first 3 months of her pregnancy.  Maybe she just found out her husband is having an affair and she is facing life as a single mom.  Or maybe, she really does have a nice, happy family.  It’s still no reason to hate her.  If you would have asked me 6 months ago if I could look at a woman like that and be genuinely happy for her, I’d have laughed at you.  I still had not let go of the bitterness and jealousy that encompassed my heart.  The reason I could not let go is that I did not realize how much I really had to be grateful for in my life.

What do you do if you are tortured by feelings of jealousy and “why me?” this holiday season?  I’ll share with you a simple exercise that you can do to reduce your jealousy demon and allow gratitude into your heart.  When you plant seeds of jealousy, more jealousy will grow.  And you will continue to be miserable.  Why not practice some compassion and love instead?  By planting compassion and love, more will grow and soon you will realize that these feelings of jealousy no longer plague you.  You will come to see that pain is all relative, and that one person’s pain and suffering is not greater or less than your own.  You will be able to see your friends’ suffering, therefore you will be able to not only see but share in their happiness as well.  Not just share it, but really feel it.  And this feels much better than the bitter feelings of jealousy that pinch, nag and kick down your psyche.

How to Reduce Feelings of Jealousy

Create an altar of gratitude.  Take 5 candles and line them up on a table or other flat surface.  On a sheet of paper or in a notebook, write down 5 things for which you are truly grateful.  Light your first candle and say out loud, “I am thankful for _____ because ______. ”  Look at your paper and say the second thing on your list, then light the second candle.  Repeat the phrase.  Do this for  the third, fourth and fifth items on your list.  When all of your candles are lit, spend a few moments in silence, holding that feeling of gratitude in your heart.  When you are finished, blow out the candles but keep the paper with your list on it.  Hang it someplace where you will see it often – a mirrror, your refrigerator.  You could even make a screen saver with your list on it to remind you on a daily basis.  Remember that you can go to your altar whenever you need to get back in touch with those feelings of gratitude.

As I have really gotten in touch with the suffering of other women with PCOS and others who are trying to conceive, my love and compassion has grown immensely.  If someone announces that she is pregnant, I truly do feel happy for her.  Her triumphs give me hope and I feel connected not only to her suffering but to her happiness as well.  And this feels so much better than being jealous.  I still have those feelings of  ”I wish it was me” but I replace those thoughts with “This will be me soon”.  I am preparing to have a baby in every way.  A baby will come into my life, I just am not sure of exactly how he or she will get here.  But I am grateful for the journey I am taking and all of the memories I am making along the way!

An entry from my gratitude journal:

I am thankful for my supportive family.  I know that no matter what happens, no one is judging me for the choices that I have made.  I am grateful for my husband and my daughter, Liliana.  I am grateful that I get to spend so much time with them and get to make wonderful memories each and every day.  I am grateful for every “I love you” and the feelings of good energy that are transferred into my very being each and every day.  I am grateful for the love of my kitty and my puppies – it feels great to be loved so much unconditionally.  They have taught me that there is no place in my life for jealousy or ill will.  I am grateful to God for all of the opportunities I have had in my life.  I know that I am going down the path that I am meant to take.  I am grateful for His love and support; without Him I would be nothing.

Take a few moments to write down 5 things for which you are grateful.  Put a little bit more meaning into the holiday this year.  Happy Thanksgiving!  I am truly grateful for all of your support and feedback!

Holly

So many overweight women worry that their children will also have a weight problem.  If you have ever seen Dr. Phil or some of the other talk shows, I am sure that you have seen the overweight parents with severely overweight children.  It is clear that there is a link there. Genetics?  Perhaps a little, but mostly it is about lifestyle.  Allow me to elaborate.

I have been sort of nonchalantly watching my daughter lately.  Watching her eat, that is.  My mother-in-law is always worried about what she eats, that she isn’t eating enough meat, etc.  But my observations have really led me to believe that she is getting what she needs for now.  Sometimes she just is not hungry, so she doesn’t eat.  When she does eat, she eats until she has had enough and has no qualms about leaving food on her plate and walking away (or feeding her leftovers to the dogs).  She really enjoys her food and eats very slowly.  Sometimes she even makes “mmmmm mmmmm” sounds when she eats if she really likes it.  She is a typical 3-year old, she likes things that are sweet.  She prefers bread (but I only buy whole grain with no HFCS) to vegetables and does not like anything too spicy or “nasty” as she calls it.  She snacks on almonds, dried figs, whole wheat pretzels and other various fresh fruits.  She accepts that we do not eat ice cream every day.  I like to have her “help” me make food on a regular basis.  She can stir and pour in ingredients.  I turn it into a little lesson for her – we talk about what goes in the food, why we eat it, or talk about what letters all the ingredients start with.  I love that she knows what agave nectar is!

I really try to avoid making a big deal out of eating.  Because I am trying my best to live a healthy lifestyle, you will rarely find junk food in my house.  I make one meal for dinner, either Lili eats it or she doesn’t.  I offer praise for trying new foods.  I hide vegetables whenever possible.  I would like her to think that this healthy way of eating is “normal”.  Of course she has not gotten to the age when she goes over to friends’ houses and samples their perhaps not so healthy lifestyles.  I do not ever tell her to “clean her plate”.  Food is just food.  It gives us nourishment and energy.  I really try my best to not use food as a reward, though I have bribed with a healthy dessert a few times when Lili was on a hunger strike.

Of course, a healthy lifestyle is more than just the food we chose to shove in our mouths.  I feel pretty good that Lili knows what all of my exercise equipment is called.  She likes to do my bhangra dance videos with me (I think she does it better than me to – she has rhythm!).  She enjoys going hiking in the woods, loves to swim, and is a great running partner even though she doesn’t run.  She does, however, tell me to “go faster!” and yells at me if I stop.  We try to incorporate some activity into every day.  Sometimes we turn on some silly songs and dance, sometimes we go to the playground and run around, sometimes we go to open gym at a gymnastics studio.  I don’t make a big deal out of it, it’s just something we do.  She does not appreciate the fact that I limit her TV time, but that’s part of life – learning to deal with things that we do not like.

I am no different than many other women.  Having been overweight most of my life, I do not want my daughter to have to go through that.  But I am not modeling the tactics used by my own parents.  I think these things made my problems worse.  Of course back then I did not know I had PCOS, and this in retrospect is probably a blessing since that probably would have made my mother put a lock on the refrigerator and cupboards.  I am not attempting to control, just model healthy behaviors the majority of the time.  I keep healthy food in the house, not buy junk food and tell her not to eat it.  I will NEVER NEVER tell her she is fat or give her nicknames like Thunder Thighs.  I will not drag her to Weight Watchers meetings when she is 10 years old.  I have to be careful about what I say too – I need to watch my own self-criticism because I do not want her to repeat it.  Most of all, I do not ever want her to think I do not love her exactly the way she is.  So many fat kids grow up thinking that their parents can only love them if they are thin.  I know I did.

Right now, Lili is a confident and active little girl.  I would like her to stay that way.  And I think the best way for me to do that is to give up some control, to have faith that she knows what she needs most of the time.  When it comes to food anyway.  There will be no Clean Plate Club in my house.  And no sugared cereals either.  Or white bread.  Ice cream is always organic and natural with no chemicals in it.  We are keeping it real around here.  And for now, we are all OK with that.  And it’s good to be OK!