Setbacks Happen…Blah
Well, I have set some pretty intense goals for myself, knowing that I was bound to falter sooner or later. I want to be a She-Woman, but the truth is that I am an overweight 35 year old woman with chronic pain issues. I have hopes that being more athletic will help my chronic pain but I know myself enough to realize that this will not be a pain-free battle. I expect the “normal” type of pain, like sore muscles and the burn you feel when you are pushing yourself to your physical limits. What I forget about is my “normal” pain. I have to spend a lot of time and money in order to keep myself relatively pain free. I tell people I get a weekly massage and they are like “lucky you” or “wow, aren’t you a princess?” Um, no. Not lucky me. Lucky me needs to carve out that hour and a half (w/travel time) that it takes to get a massage every week. I need to find a babysitter for that time or sometimes I just can’t and my pain is so bad that I just need to bring her with me. Luckily, I have known my massage therapist for a long time and my child is actually pretty well-behaved during this time. I think she has sympathy for my pain, actually. She will often ask me “Mama, does your back hurts?” if I groan or make a face. She sees me ice my back, she comes with me to the chiropractor, she sees me do my back exercises. I do not want her to feel sorry for me. I want her to see my triumph over my pain and see me living a healthy life in spite of these small setbacks.
What really sucks is that when the pain comes on this bad, it takes like 2 weeks to recover from it. My back was pinched and seized but so bad that I couldn’t lift my left leg! It hurt so bad I couldn’t sleep, so working out during the day was hard because I was so tired. But I did continue to strength train and stretch during the week, and did some walking and a couple of videos that weren’t too intense. Sometimes jumping and high impact exercises hurt my back. So I am faced with having to work within my limits. I know that my back gets inflamed, and that PCOS involves some inflammatory reactions as well. So I have decided to adopt an anti-inflammatory diet (I eat this way most of the time but I think I am eating too much meat right now) along with slightly modifying my exercise goals. It’s for the best. I will be a She-Woman, I’ll just go about it differently.
So, I have printed out a copy of Andrew Weil’s anti-inflammatory food pyramid and will adjust it to meet my daily calorie limits. I will do my best to follow this every day. I not only want to look better but I want to FEEL better. Because feeling the way I have for the last two weeks is not FUN. I feel like I am about to turn 80 instead of 35.
Second, I think I really need to think about my physical limitations and what is best for me long-term. I know that running burns a lot of calories and does help me lose weight but I do not think it really does my back any favors. I’ve decided to work toward being able to WALK a half-marathon instead of running a 5K. I will find a half-marathon in a fun place, sign up, download a training schedule, and start training. I will aim to walk as fast as I can and will set a goal time for finishing on the day of the race. It will all be good!
I will not let this pain sideline me. I am going to continue my intensive strength training to strengthen my back muscles (along with every other muscle in my body). As the lady on my video says “muscle burns fat!” – at this point I am choosing to trust her completely and follow the workout schedule in my guide book along with adding some daily walking.
I am having trouble with the waking up early thing. I hate waking up. I hate mornings. But I need to do it in order to have time to work out twice a day. So starting tomorrow I ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY MOST DEFINITELY will wake up at 6:30 tomorrow and take my dog for a walk. A fast walk. In the cold. Brrrrrrrr.
I am looking forward to my RESOLVE coaching group beginning so that I will have lots of accountability partners to keep me on track. There is definitely power in numbers. This will be my most affordable weight release focused group ever. And I’ll be telling you all about it tomorrow! Woo hoo!
Off to my massage appointment now! Don’t feel too jealous – no babysitter today – this should be a blast!
Until tomorrow….
